And you know what they were right! In oh so many ways, the sudden impulse (well it was years of procrastination and Mike and I promised ourselves we would get a dog when we retired… you may notice a theme here? one of let’s wait until….) to get a dog. It was six months into losing Mike…. I did my ‘research’, in that I wanted a breed of dog that ‘usually’ can get on with cats. You see, I already had a pet, Arnold, the long haired, ginger rescue cat, who was found wandering the streets as a kitten. We adopted him and Mike taught him how to box…. To say Arnold has a feral streak in him, is an understatement. He can purr lovingly into you, then literally bite the hand that feeds him. Mike thought it was hilarious to have a cat with such an attitude…. So I decided on a labrador, a ‘proper’ dog and one which would get me outside walking (a lot), was a largish size (the resulting labrador I have is back breakingly heavy).

Mildred arrives, all doe eyed and with rampant diarrhoea for the first 4 weeks. I was still in total shock and messed up with grief, despite being back at work full time I thought this was a good idea.

And you know what…? I was right.

No one explains that having a puppy will consume your entire days and weeks – from training, to endlessly goggling what they can eat, what happens when they eat compost (Milderd loved a flower pot of two), what happens when they eat stones/sand/mud/gloves etc… But no one warned me about the evil chewing of most things, but especially glasses (the ones you use to see, not the ones you poor wine into) and TV remotes. Amazon made some serious money, endlessly supplying replacement remotes.. And before anyone asks, I usually remembered to put it somewhere high, where she couldn’t get it, but obviously not always… the final straw came when she ran out into the garden with my I-phone, the day before I was due to go away on a holiday….

However, despite the endless “Mildred, drop it…” and “Mildred, leave Arnold” I would not be without her. She has literally ‘saved’ me… She gets me out in all weathers, wether I want to or not… I’ve seen local places I would never have walked to alone, I meet endless fellow dog owners, who instinctively chat … about dogs. But most of all, she gives me the reason to get out of bed and go…. It’s a strange thing, suddenly finding yourself totally alone (yes, I have friends and family – though family live 100 miles away). I realise that some people would love that opportunity to ‘get away’ from things, but this is different. It wasn’t my choice, it wasn’t planned and shit, I wasn’t expecting it. So like a sudden sledge hammer, when it hits you… and with no idea or plan, you have to start to re-navigate your life and that dear reader is why I’m here, trying to re-navigate my life… find a new road, look for new reasons to ‘be’ and most of all try and get my head (even after what is coming up to 3 years) around this bloody hideous ‘journey’….