The above is a take on what a well know ‘influencer’ says. He actually talks sense and doesn’t post photographs of his breakfast… so he’s alright by me (how Yorkshire!).

The comment can be taken in many ways… dating (no quite enough specimens to date ‘often’ and writing… the latter I intend to do more often, if only to get my constant rage out on written form). When did I become so angry, not at life, just at the morons I come across on a regular basis…? they seem to be multiplying at an alarming rate, the older I get, the more morons I seem to encounter.

Enough ramblings, I have gone ‘off piste’. So let me tell you a little about my first ever date, since Mike… A very kind neighbour, asked if I would like to be introduced to someone she knew on a works basis. As this was a much better option than meeting some middle aged man, from one of the worst dating sites, I have ever encountered ( the first one, actually, but since then I have encountered various others and they all have the same theme…. men with fish, straddling motorbikes, in the bath, selfies in the kitchen/living room/bathroom, all wearing the same clothes and obviously taken on the same day… please gentlemen, try and find a friend or postman who can take a photo for you).

A couple of Whats Apps were sent, a bonus, he could actually spell and use punctuation (unlike the specimens on line). Seemed OK. A photo was exchanged (fully clothed, no fish or motorbike was evident). A time was agreed, Friday night… then my gut instinct kicked in (which I sort of ignored). Warning light No 1…. “I don’t want to go too far away from home”… why was this, did he have a sick relative? A manic Labrador? (no wait, that’s me!) A bladder issue? A fear if the dark?… I will never know.

Warning light No 2… He chose the worst hotel bar I have ever been in… think motorway service station, but with less atmosphere

Warning light no 3…. He asked me to read the prologue to a book he has written, whilst he went to the loo.. I tried, I really tried, but I didn’t have my reading glasses and the content was about local football. Oh and it was on his iPhone. And was totally self indulgent (the little I read through squinted eyes..).

Final Warning light …. as a final drink, I suggested a glass of red wine. He suggested we share a bottle (how civilised). So far so good… He showed me the wine list (I had suggested we share the bill before this point). He COVERED up the bottom of the wine list, with his tiny hand and said “you can have anything above my hand, the others are too expensive”……

NEXT!!!!